Chab Gassie

For the record, I was a believer in Red Bull’s Mark Webber (pictured below) from the moment he put his name on paper for Minardi. Even when he amassed a string of DNFs, I didn’t lose faith – I blamed his crappy Jaguars and BMWs for exploding for no reason.

He is now second in the world championship, no less, and has a realistic but outside chance of winning. This may have something to do with massive changes in the sport which prove that whoever has the fastest car will probably win if they can keep it on the road (and I think they have computers which do this now days), but I guess that’s part of the sport. I think it also helps that his car runs on Red Bull, which is why I poured eight cans into my car’s fuel tank yesterday.

Mark Webber is one of a number of sports people who are on the books of the Department of Australian Secret Intelligence. He attends functions with leaders in Dubai, China and the USA, so he occasionally reports good data. But most of it is just interesting trivia. Did you know the Governor of New York collects acorns? And the CEO of Emirates Oil always chews gum when making love? We don’t ask how our agents find out about these things. Steve Waugh was the best value sports star we recruited. He helped us learn that a since-retired English finance minister would sneak onto a golf course at night and steal balls from the driving range.

Today I have the day off from all of my jobs so I’m going to work on my creative dossier before going back to the mechanics to pick up my car.