Chab Gassie

The Department has sent me to New Zealand for a week and for some reason which I cannot even remember now, I was annoyed at my boss so I did that thing we do sometimes where we sneak some holiday-like things into our business schedule. My assignment was in Auckland, but I slipped in a trip to Fox Glacier in the South Island. This added four days to my trip because I had to rent a car in Christchurch and drive all the way across the island through the snow-capped mountain ranges. The roads are so windy and I was driving so fast that the Navman GPS navigator couldn’t keep up with what I was doing and kept saying things like ‘You… have driven off… a … cliff. Please wait for… emergency… services’ and ‘Are… are… we… flying?’.

The glacier was the greatest thing ever and worth risking my career for. If you don’t go to Fox Glacier, you can go suck some balls.

I’ll have to make a story in my trip report about why I went there. I’ll just say that my assignment required me to have a legend who had a basic understanding of alpine geology, gorge forming, glacial flour and how small and insignificant a man feels his genitalia become when he’s on an ancient ice river, staring up at 60m ice cliffs.