Chab Gassie

When the Department of Australian Secret Intelligence got word that our Prime Minister was going to write a kid’s book, we thought, why? Seriously – why would he bother?

It turns out he didn’t do jack and just got somebody to write the words and then somebody else to do the pictures and he put his name on it and used his power to get himself published. But he initally wanted to do the words and pictures himself. We have a recorded conversation between him and a publisher.

“Mr Prime Minister,” said the manager of Breadwood Publishing. “It’s quite difficult to write a kid’s book. People do it for years before they are published. You just can’t turn up on my doorstep at 6.45am like this with a manuscript you scribbled overnight and expect me to publish it.”

“But I felt really inspired. I’ve been up all night writing. It felt exhilirating.”

“That’s nice. Look at you standing out in the rain with your soggy papers. Did you use textas to draw that?”

“Yes.”

“I feel sorry for you. Come in for tea.”

Then I think the publisher talked the PM into letting people who knew what they were doing write and draw the book, and that she could use his name to make money.

But of course we were able to secure a copy of the original manuscript for history’s sake. It’s awfully retarded.