Chab Gassie

When John Hillcoat directed The Road, he was obviously trying to make everybody feel exactly what it would be like to live in a post-apocalyptic world where there is no food except human flesh and where everybody with any sense of decency kills themselves because that is much less painful than living. He managed to do this very well within five minutes of the opening credits. I guess he did this to give the audience an appreciation for what they have and to understand how important it is not to eat other people.

But then the movie went for another 90 minutes or so. There was no colour, except for the occasional puddle of blood in the snow, and there are more skeletons than live actors. And the kid had a high-pitched voice that made you want to slap him. Perhaps the strength in the father was best shown through the fact he didn’t smack the kid across the face and tell him to man up and stop whining (although he did tell the kid repeatedly that he had to commit suicide which is probably much worse).

Probably the lack of colour and people was the whole point of everything, but I wanted a scene like the following – a plane getting shot at with missiles by some sort of oblong and there’s explosions and colours.

The movie gets 4/5 stars. I didn’t like it, but I have to give it a good score because it was one of those artsy movies where you’re seriously uncool if you criticise it.